Don’t Ever Change

“Don’t ever change” sounds like odd advice coming from a newsletter and organisation that exist to encourage, motivate and educate people so they can improve, evolve and achieve their highest goals and purpose, but…

One mistake I’ve seen people make, especially if they’re lonely, unhappy or looking for love, is trying to be the person someone else will find attractive. In other words, they try to be someone other than themselves.

And the problem with trying to be someone else is that it can only ever be an act, and even the best actors in the world can’t keep up the illusion forever. Even if they can keep it up for years they won’t be making themselves happy by pretending to be something they’re not.

People squeeze themselves into jobs and careers they don’t like in exactly the same way.

But how can we reconcile ‘being yourself’ with becoming a better or more successful person than you are now?

Well, let’s look at it from another person’s point of view. Say someone really likes you for the person you pretend to be. They may be a friend, a lover or an employer. In fact, they haven’t fallen for you, they’ve fallen for a fiction. And when you drop the act or
the true you is revealed in some way, what are the chances they’ll feel the same way about the real you? I’d say they’re quite slim.

No, the way to find people who will be attracted to you is to be you. That doesn’t mean you have to take the attitude “This is me: like me or lump me”. People who are that abrasive may be very insecure and unhappy about who they actually are. It also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve, learn and become the best you
that you can be.

But you’ll find life, love and even your career or business become much easier and happier when you stop trying to please other people by being someone you’re not. Instead, you should improve yourself in the ways that feel right for you.

So here’s something you can do to improve things: take another look in the mirror and know that, yes, you can change, but you can only ever be you. And the best and real you really is good enough!

Originally written for the Crack On Foundation

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